You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.  ~William D. Tammeus


Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone


Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep.  ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


When you have brought up kids, there are memories you store directly in your tear ducts.  ~Robert Brault,


Yes, having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.  ~Bill Cosby, Fatherhood


Parenthood:  That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.  ~Marcelene Cox


Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.  ~John Wilmot


It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller


To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.  ~Josh Billings


Your children need your presence more than your presents.  ~Jesse Jackson


It's not only children who grow.  Parents do too.  As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.  I can't tell my children to reach for the sun.  All I can do is reach for it, myself.  ~Joyce Maynard


Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.  ~Robert Fulghum


Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.  ~Haim Ginott


The trouble with learning to parent on the job is that your child is the teacher.  ~Robert Brault,


It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be.  ~Homer


If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent.  ~Bette Davis


It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams


Diogenes struck the father when the son swore.  ~Robert Burton, "Anatomy of Melancholy," Democritus to the Reader, 1621


Children are a great comfort in your old age - and they help you reach it faster, too.  ~Lionel Kauffman


Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.  ~Abigail Van Buren


The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.  ~Lane Olinghouse


If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.  ~C.G. Jung, Integration of the Personality, 1939


Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.  ~Robert A. Heinlein


Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.  ~Roger Lewin


Simply having children does not make mothers.  ~John A. Shedd


Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child.  ~Gail Sheehy


Children have more need of models than of critics.  ~Carolyn Coats, Things Your Dad Always Told You But You Didn't Want to Hear


The beauty of "spacing" children many years apart lies in the fact that parents have time to learn the mistakes that were made with the older ones - which permits them to make exactly the opposite mistakes with the younger ones.  ~Sydney J. Harris


There are two lasting bequests we can give our children.  One is roots.  The other is wings.  ~Hodding Carter, Jr.


Your children tell you casually years later what it would have killed you with worry to know at the time.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Do not ask that your kids live up to your expectations.  Let your kids be who they are, and your expectations will be in breathless pursuit.  ~Robert Brault,


The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.  ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957


The problem with children is that you have to put up with their parents.  ~Charles DeLint


Sing out loud in the car even, or especially, if it embarrasses your children.  ~Marilyn Penland


My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time.  ~Karen Brown


A parent's love is whole no matter how many times divided.  ~Robert Brault,


Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
And that's what parents were created for.
~Ogden Nash, "The Parent," Happy Days, 1933


Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.  ~Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family


How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child's board.  It is like an aged man reclining under the shadow of an oak which he has planted.  ~Walter Scott


You will always be your child's favorite toy.  ~Vicki Lansky, Trouble-Free Travel with Children, 1991


What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give.  ~P.D. James, Time to Be in Earnest


There is a strong chance that siblings who turn out well were hassled by the same parents.  ~Robert Brault,


If your children spend most of their time in other people's houses, you're lucky; if they all congregate at your house, you're blessed.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.  ~Haim Ginott


Give me the life of the boy whose mother is nurse, seamstress, washerwoman, cook, teacher, angel, and saint, all in one, and whose father is guide, exemplar, and friend.  No servants to come between.  These are the boys who are born to the best fortune.  ~Andrew Carnegie


Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.  ~Jean Kerr


Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.  ~Oscar Wilde


There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.  ~Chinese Proverb


Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons


Smack your child every day.  If you don't know why - he does.  ~Joey Adams


Kids spell love T-I-M-E.  ~John Crudele


There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.  ~George Bernard Shaw


Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.  ~P.J. O'Rourke


A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster.  If he's always apologizing, his children are monsters.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


As parents, we guide by our unspoken example.  It is only when we're talking to them that our kids aren't listening.  ~Robert Brault,


Mother Nature is wonderful.  Children get too old for piggy-back rides just about the same time they get too heavy for them.  ~Author Unknown


The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man.  The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent.  ~Frank Pittman, Man Enough


If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.  ~Lawrence Housman


Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it.  ~Robert Brault,


I don't believe professional athletes should be role models.  I believe parents should be role models.... It's not like it was when I was growing up.  My mom and my grandmother told me how it was going to be.  If I didn't like it, they said, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out."  Parents have to take better control.  ~Charles Barkley


Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.  ~Dave Barry


The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.  ~Benjamin Spock, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care


Having babies is fun, but babies grow up into people.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter, "The Price of Tomato Juice"


My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.  ~Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant, 1968


When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen.  When they're finished, I climb out.  ~Erma Bombeck


I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school.  ~Author Unknown


The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles.  A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom.  The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard.  ~Sloan Wilson


You don't have to deserve your mother's love.  You have to deserve your father's.  He is more particular.... The father is always a Republican towards his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.  ~Robert Frost


Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day.  It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken.  ~Bill Dodds


If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
~Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"


Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father.  ~Gloria Steinem, New York Times, 26 August 1971


Good, honest, hardheaded character is a function of the home.  If the proper seed is sown there and properly nourished for a few years, it will not be easy for that plant to be uprooted.  ~George A. Dorsey


Hot dogs always seem better out than at home; so do French-fried potatoes; so do your children.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices:  take it, or leave it.  ~Buddy Hackett



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